Marriages Are Made In…

Hello World!

After a long while, I’ve found the time, and more importantly, the spirit, to post something here. For a considerable period of time now, things hadn’t been smooth sailing. In this time of turmoil, which, alas, hasn’t passed completely yet, there were a million things that I wanted to share here. Many questions to ask, some answers to give. But that couldn’t happen. I still hope that, soon enough, I’ll be able to address them.

This, however, is getting published. It is another email forward (the other, if you missed it, is here) and one that, perhaps, is funnier than the previous one.

These are actual ads taken from a leading matrimonial website of guys searching for brides. The grammar and spelling, are, of course, of no significant consequence  to these posters – everything is straight from the heart! I only hope you don’t forget yours at the end of this. By the way, I’ve not made any changes to the post, but have edited the bracketed comments from the original email.

Hope you laugh, and laugh bad!

Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don’t have female,If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar *~*

(Do you want to Marie? Or send you letter?)

 

i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Homework?)

 

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so simple!)

 

she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(Now isn’t that unique – the one brother, one sister criteria?)

 

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..hold my hand forever !!!

(The DDLJ effect.)

 

i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don’t know why, but this is one of my favourites.)

 

My wife should be as ‘Shivani’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT……

(OK, I haven’t seen these soaps, but I’m sure he’s demanding too much, isn’t he?)

 

i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast

(By not wearing her jeans when stepping out?)

 

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(Yup! All of us are loughing.)

 

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be called the woman of the lamp

(Woman of the lamp! Can anyone tell me what this boy wants?)

 

i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(Clueless again, but I liked the “OK” syndrome.)

 

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(And the “OK” syndrome. Again.)

 

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother sister complity marred

(I’m sure some of you folks can explain how to get married “completely”?)

 

iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(Actually, what is this guy doing – postal service or tailoring?)

 

my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(The heights of desperation!)

 

Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey.
IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.

(Uttam purush!)

 

iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments.)

 

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(Maybe the poor guy meant he doesn’t have any BAD habits.)

 

hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good’. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …

(Credit cards accepted?)

 

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra?)

 

i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

 

to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable

(This guy has fixed the marriage date, but is yet to find a bride. Good luck!)

 

i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani.

(She is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

 

ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Again, any takers?)

 

Most people who I ask to read my blog tell me that it is either too serious, or with words that require a dictionary. While there is little I can do about the former, and the latter is more a reflection on the reader than me, I can do something – and that something is bring humour. Which, I think, is what you’ll find this post filled with. This is a remain of the, thankfully, forgotten species of email forwards.

It is one of the few genuinely funny ones, and must’ve been produced by a mind more attuned to humour than mine – so, I claim no right on its authorship, and similarly, by nature of its being a forward, negate all claims of copyright violation. Cheers!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Akansha says:

    lmao…good one…the zebra comment was hillarious..

    Like

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